


Sales Pitch

by lost_spook



Category: Blake's 7, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Crossover, Ficlet, Gen, Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 06:36:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4909099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vila's alone on the Liberator with the worst pair of con artists he's ever seen...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sales Pitch

**Author's Note:**

> From an LJ meme prompt: Eight + Liz team up to prank Vila

“Congratulations!” said the first of the intruders. “I’m from Galactic Insurance and as our billionth and oneth customer, you’ve won the –”

“Billionth and oneth?” said the other, with a raise of her eyebrow. It was withering. Vila was glad she wasn’t directing it at him.

The man waved a hand. “As I was saying,” he continued with emphasis, “you’ve been pulled out of our lucky hat and we’re here to give you your prize. If you could just sign for it in triplicate and then make a call through to our headquarters, which you’ll find orbiting the lost planet of Garr –”

Vila decided that either he was still asleep and dreaming, or he was drunk, or he was asleep and dreaming _and_ drunk, or these two were the worst con artists he’d ever seen. He should probably give them an award for it. “Look,” he said, trying to be as threatening as possible as he directed his weapon at them, “we’re not insured for anything –”

“Not insured?” said the man in tones of overdone horror. He even staggered back slightly. “Liz, did you hear that? Well, sir, this really _is_ your lucky day –”

Vila sighed. “You know how it is – we would if we could, but when you tick the box that says ‘rebel against the Federation’ on the form, they stick the premiums up so high it’s not worth it. Besides, with Avon around, you’d just be asking to be defrauded. You don’t want us on your books, take it from me. Now, who are you and how did you get on board the Liberator?”

“I told you, Doctor,” said the woman. (Nice legs, Vila noted to himself. She was wearing an impressively short skirt to show them off, so he felt it was only polite to give them due admiration. Nice everything, he added, after a bit more polite admiration.)

The Doctor looked crestfallen. “Liz, Liz! And I was just getting into the part!”

“Look, I know you couldn’t have teleported,” said Vila, “so how d’you do it? How d’you get on board? Some kind of shuttle or something?”

The Doctor smiled slowly. “I think ‘something’ is a start. It’s a very long story. Now you seem like a reasonable fellow – do you think you could possibly stop pointing that thing at us while I explain?”


End file.
